- The missionary sex position involves one partner lying on their back while the other gets on top.
- You can also try variations like the coital alignment technique, which involves using a pillow.
- Using a blindfold, incorporating toys, and talking dirty can help you spice up missionary.
- Visit Insider's Health Reference library for more advice.
While some people might write off missionary sex as boring, it's actually a versatile position that allows for intimate eye contact, kissing, and lots of skin-to-skin touching.
Depending on personal preferences, there are plenty of ways to spice up missionary, whether it's with position variations or playing around with intimacy in a different way.
How to do missionary
The missionary position is a standard sex position that's easy to get into.
Here's a simple step by step:
- The partner being penetrated lies flat on their back.
- The partner doing the penetrating gets on top, facing their partner.
- From here, the penetrating partner can enter.
One of the benefits of this position is that you are face-to-face with your partner. "Facing one another during sex allows for greater eye contact and facial expression, which can enhance intimacy during sexual encounters," says Jennifer Litner, sexologist and founder of Embrace Sexual Wellness. Additionally, a 2019 study found that eye contact between two people can increase arousal, which is certainly handy during sex.
Missionary variations
If you like the standard missionary position but want to switch it up a bit, you can try the following variations which still allow for eye contact and intimacy, accoring toAmanda Pasciucco, LMFT, a certified sex therapist of Life Coaching and Therapy
One partner standing:
- The partner being penetrated lies on the bed, face up, with their groin towards the end of the bed.
- The penetrating partner stands at the end of the bed, facing the bed, and enters their partner.
Legs up missionary:
- Both partners assume standard missionary position.
- The partner being penetrated lifts their legs up (either bent or straight).
- The penetrating partner can hold onto their partner's thighs to help hold some of their weight and get a different angle of thrusting.
The coital alignment technique (CAT):
- The partner being penetrated lies flat with a pillow under their butt so their pelvis is angled upwards, allowing for more direct contact with the clitoris and surrounding area.
- The penetrating partner gets on top and enters the same as in standard missionary.
How to spice up missionary
Aside from exploring missionary position variations, there are plenty of other ways you can spice up missionary, depending on what you and your partner are into. Here are some tips from Litner and Pasciucco:
1. Use a blindfold: Using a blindfold can heighten senses, and add an element of surprise, not being able to see what your partner is going to do next. Pasciucco recommends that the partner being penetrated is blindfolded. "A blindfold can change dynamics, even if the body is doing the same motion," says Pasciucco.
2. Talk dirty: Litner says if the thought of erotic banter excites you and your partner, try it out. Dirty talk can increase arousal and stimulate your brain, not just your body. Plus, it may help you feel even closer to your partner.
3. Incorporate toys or props: Using toys during sex, such as vibrators, can help you be more exploratory during missionary, Litner says. For example, try using a vibrator on the clitoris of the partner being penetrated or using a butt plug for stimulation of both the anus and the vagina.
4. Change up the scenery: Having sex in a different location, like a new room versus the bedroom, is an easy way to spice up missionary, Litner says.
Insider's takeaway
Missionary is a standard, simple sex position that allows for closeness and intimacy. If you get bored of plain missionary sex, you can easily switch things up with position variations or adding in new elements such as sex toys or dirty talk. Have fun exploring all the different options and seeing what brings you and your partner the most pleasure.